Tuesday, 4 August 2009


Love is hard i really dont no anymore i dont no what i want, everything seems to hard what ever i want i cant have, what i dont want i can have ... it seems like people just dont want me to be happy nomore, all i want is that one boy that will love me for me ...

Friday, 16 January 2009

Jason <3

I got with jason on 16-12-08 and anit had any downs its been all good things happen he asked me that went we are older will i marry him i said yeah if everything goes well for us, he is so sweet hes always writin poems he got a song never be replased because no one can take his place and no one can take mine we got a speacial bond shes so sweet to me when im down he makes me happy with his little love lines hes the sweet boy iv ever been with, im just waitin for one off my friends to mess with this relationship because one off them always does they dont like me happy they wanna see me sad (N) but sometimes i think to myself that this is to good to be true because he seems to perfect to me. Lately we anit been talking as much and im starting to miss the old times when we always talked to eachother about things, when ever we talk now its you okay? what you been up to? then the conversations over and it just dont fell right anymore we anit got the conection we did have which makes me think is it ment to be ?

march 18th i went online and had found out that jason had been cheatin on me with some girl at first this girl was being really mean to me say he mine n that but she never new that i was with him first but when i asked him about her he came strate out with the truth and said it all that he was seein another girl and that, but when i tld the other girl that i was with him first she was like sorry and she finshed him, when i spoke 2 him alter on that night he sed that he loved me and he onli did that because he thort that i was seein someone else but i wont and i told him that if he was that much inlove with me he wudnt have dne it in the first place!!

i will always love this boy no matter what!! x x

Thursday, 15 January 2009

Luke Abbott

This boy is amazin i use to tlk to him before i told him he was ugly before when i was about 12 lol, and we stopped tlkin and i deleted him off my msn list then 3 years later samanta meet him on a website plentyoffish for people over 18 she was talking to him all the time on the phone then the one day i added him on bebo coz he was on her bebo too and we started talkin on there msn n texting we told eachother almost everything, i think i told him everything about me things that i had never told someone before coz i felt so conftuble telling him things we talked about alost everything and anything we had some fun times and some down times, he helped me threw some bad times he made my frown just upside down into a smile this boy could never make you upset.
He had aranged to meet eachother for ages and then the one day we meet up but i had gone to cardiff with samantha and i never told her i was meetin up with till we got into cardiff she has the shock off her life it was funny, we was all talkin i was so glad i had finaly meet up with him hes was lush :P, a couple off days after we had met up i asked him to be my prom date and he sed yes i was over the moon i couldnt believe it i thort he was gonna say no.
This is the only boy that i have got along with for so long normaly boys i meet on msn we only talk for a couple off days meet up and never talk again but we have talked ever since and i can tell him anything he amazing iv never meet anyone like him, its like in ubsest with him i always talk about saying how much off a great guy he is and that im so glad i meet him, he changed my life its unbelievable i never new anyone could do that but he did, luke your amazing im so glad i meet you would never change you for anything id do anything to keep you happy.

loveyouuuuu x

Letter 2 Paul Frm Charlie x

Letter 2 Paul Frm Charlie x
Hi dad ive been missing you but now your in my heart i loved it wen we wear playing claps you made me laugh it was so good its good i can still talk with you and im aloud to go see you any time i want love yu charlie xxxxx shes onli 8 years old ♥ 10 november 2008

she misses you loads x

R.I.P Daddy Paul x

He died 13-10-08
he will be bardly missed

afgan paul dad ... as people new himhe wont my real dad but i always thoer off him as my real dad he gave me the world as far as i new he was my dad he was lil sisters dad we loved him so much he is well missed he was loved by so many and still is i really miss himi cry myself to sleep some nights because i cnt believe hes gone i keep thinkin this is all a dream and that hes gonna wlk threw y door soonid give anything to get him back hes the onli father that bothered with us we loved him with all are heart and he wish that he was still hear there was over 5 hundered people at his funeral he had so many friends most off them there sed why him he was a lovly guy he helped us with everythingthere is about 6 kids that thort ov him as a dad he got two lovly children charlie n chloe i cudnt believe it whn me and shanndon was mentioned at his funeral as his kids it made my dayas far as i wanna know hes my dad and always will be loveyouuuu daddy paul xxxx

Well, Paul.. We're lost for words, each and everyone of us. It still hasn't registered that you're gone for good. We adored you. That signature smile you had perminantly pasted to your face is still the memory we have of you when you enter our dreams and thoughts. We would've done anything to keep you here, but I guess it was your time. We'll never forget you. You were one of the nicest people to ever come into my life and you brightened up so many of our days. Forever in our hearts. I love you. Rest in peace (yn)

Paul was the closest thing i ever had to a dad when people sed to me aww hus ur dad i always sed paul he treated me like his own he gave me the world he had my name tattooed on his back aswell as my sister n brother namei will always remember the good times we hadall the times you wud take me my brother n sister outi will miss them times i think god need an angel because he took the best angel goin you are loved by so may and i dnt think yu new that you loved everyone you treated everyone the sameand you never liked sayin no to people i really wish you said no to people tho my sister misses you loads she write letters to you all the time she knows ur lookin dwn on her but i really dnt think she understands at the minute i think shes to young to understand loveyou dadmiss you loads seems like u'v been gne ages thats how much i miss you :'(loveyou love shawnee x

why do they always take the good ones
thats what hurts me the most
looks like god need an angle and he pick the best person for it
miss you loads paul

thinkin off you everyday

this year was the first christmas without you it was hard but we made it threw, i sat there openin my pressents thinkin to myself we always waited for paul to come over he came over about 12 and we gave him his birthday pressents then we opened ares, the one time in the year we was all together after you and my mum split up we had some good times together will never forget them miss you loads


my love life Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Well . . . I have been with the same boy for never 4 years we got together on the 13-02-05 day before valentines day thats why i always remember the date, when we first got together no body wanted us to be together so the song no matter by Akon that was are song . . . we first meet on msn we talked for along time on msn and then the night before valentines day he goes to me at about 10 o'clock cause i said i was going in the bath can i have your number please so i can text you can ask you something so i gave my number to him and well i was in the bath i had a text saying hiyah babe its karl off msn will you get with me please and i said yes i was like omg . . . ever since then we have been together but we have had an on and off relationship he has cheated on me plenty off times with my best mate and my own cousin but i have forgive him and i have cheated on him 3 times and he has forgive me we first meet in Brigand when me and my mate Ashley went to meet him we stayed with him for at lest 3 hours then we went back home then ever weekend after that i went up to see him in Pyle and i slept there once because i was having family trouble, then on the 18-07-08 he asked me to get engaged with him and i said yes and he bort me gold ring a kneckles and a bangle and he have bort me a new ring as well a silver one with a diamond on in it.Karl is 19 years old though so we find it really hard at the fact that he lives in Pyle and i live in Barry which is a hour and a half drive so we have loads off trust in each other and because off the ages difference i anit told my mum his really age i told her he was 17 years old. . . Well theres more to come on my love life.
This was taken off my old blogger which was wrote on tuesday 5th august 2008 at 07:09

05-08-2008 : 23:35

Well . . . today i went out with my cousin and her mates 2 of her mates are bi one of them id her girlfriend we went up to Kalseys nans in are pj's well me and 1 of the other girls did then when we got up to her nans kelsey got into her pj's and then we went to the shop to get ice-cream and when we was walking back from the shop we had so may dirty looks from people and usually i say something when someone gives me a dirty look but this time i was i what ever love move on year i now you like pmsl i was like omg now i know what people think when they have dirty looks at people there just like carry on . . . and now i know what it is like to be a mosher they get some many dirty looks from people and so many people start on them for no reason like when they are just like them but dress different and act different i think that they are more fun to be are because they make a joke out of anything like they are a great laugh and i dont see the point in people taking the mick out of bi people cause they could do the same to stright people there i nuffin wrong with them there just getting on with there lives they cant help it they dont like the other sex. I think it is really rude of them to shout out things when people that are bi walk past them because they are just the same as them . .

this has been taken off my old blogger and this was never finshed ....... wrote Tuesday, 5 August 2008 15:37